Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
Forum Thread
Dear Neighbor
June 11, 2008 at
11:11 AM
Complete this sentence with what you want to say to your neighbor, but won't.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
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Please find enclosed funding to help you get the lead on your feet sheared off. As much as we appreciate knowing where you are at all times, it's attracting bull elephants to the area.
Let's both move to England so you can be my neighbour.
By moving the dresser you blocked my peep hole, now I may be forced to drill another one...
Wearing your old college cootchie cutters while riding your mower is not working for you, nor is it working for me.
Thanks that is all
If you are home, please answer your phone when it rings. It's very annoying to hear it ring over and over when I know you're there. Why should I have to suffer too because you're avoiding creditors since you can't pay your bills on time. I stop by just to act all "concerned" but I'm hoping you just get the point. Maybe next time I'll bring my hatchet.
Do you get much sun on your side of my 10 feet high security fence?
Please to close your front door. We do not appreciate you watching everything we do across the hall, and certainly do not feel the disgustingly stained carpets and trash of your own apartment needs to be visually shared with the rest of us.
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Since you have the horn beep when you use the key fob to lock the doors to your car, is it really necessary to push that damn button 5 times in a row??? Did you really NOT hear it the first 4 times? I mean you were standing right there.
I'm just sayin...
BUY a SHIRT! We are sick of seeing your flabby gut hanging out all over! And also, can you put a muffler on your "new" truck? We don't need you to announce that you leave for work every day at 4:30 AM!
I'm so *$#%^! tired of being polite and nice. Quit knocking on my door and coming in with your geeky mail carrier outfit to show me some stupid video. This *&^%$ sweater is so damn itchy, and these $%^@# sneakers are too tight.
Sincerely,
F. Rogers
As much as I appreciate your kindness in offering your pet's dung as fertilizer for my lawn, I think I will take a pass. Next time, my refusal will be translated for you by my loving pitbull dog who thinks bone marrow is a delicacy.
BTW, can you stop peeing on the side of your house! Your bathroom is right inside your door! Don't be such a lazy slob!
I can see those freakin binoculars in your hands! Do U think I dance around naked in here for fun? Drop my money in the mailbox. TODAY. U already owe me 10 grand!
Oh, and if we wrote a letter to our only other neighbor it would be:
Dear Neighbor,
We were both so excited to find out the sheriffs department finally got access to your home and released your over the internet bride. Sorry to hear she went back to Russia, but, I am sure she is happy to finally be allowed outdoors.
Yes, this is a true story. We have a lot of freaks around here.