Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
Forum Thread
Dear Neighbor
June 11, 2008 at
11:11 AM
in
Question
Complete this sentence with what you want to say to your neighbor, but won't.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
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Quit picking at the paint on the stair rails, it's not your nose dumbass.
Let's talk about your visitors. If they are too lazy to walk the 50 feet from the driveway to your front door, have them use a cell phone to call you. Using the horn also alerts me to their arrival and makes me realize how classy you are. In addition, if your guests do stay and park in front of my house, please ask them to deposit their litter in your garbage can, not my front lawn. I do not mind going out, picking it up, and re-depositing it in your lawn or open car window (true story), but it would save us both the effort. On a final note, please encourage your 20 year old son and his friends to play basketball with their shirts off more often.
Thanks.
Dear neighbor,
1. Please consider renting a storage locker or getting rid of some of the crap piled ceiling-high on your patio. Hanging black plastic from the overhang to hide this stuff really doesn't cut it, especially when the plastic starts to fall down.
2. Learn to use a trash can. The volume of trash blowing from your yard into mine is ridiculous, although some of it makes interesting reading. Come to think of it, you might want to buy a shredder.
3. Take your farking dog inside and pay him some attention. Leaving him chained outside 24/7 is cruel. Yelling at him to shut up only reinforces the nuisance barking--the way he sees it, the only time you pay attention to him is when he barks.
Fix your farkin cat! Thank you.
Dear neighbor,
Hook me up with another of those tasty home brews please. Thanks.
your son is a farking hottie
dear neighbor,
i know you're gay and an actor so you'd be cool to hang out with. wanna introduce me to some famous people?
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Or your sneaky little trick of putting all your trash bags on our yard so the grass on our yard goes yellow in the Texas heat while your yard stays green.
PS: Not taking the package your company offered and retiring while the getting was still good at xyz airlines, not a smart move. Good luck finding a new job at your age.
It is not necessary to put your high heeled shoes on 30 minutes before you leave the house in the morning! It only serves to wake me up on my day off and annoy the piss out of me while you stomp around the house doing whatever it is you have to do before you leave for work!
Please don't pee near the entrance to my apartment.
It is not necessary to put your high heeled shoes on 30 minutes before you leave the house in the morning! It only serves to wake me up on my day off and annoy the piss out of me while you stomp around the house doing whatever it is you have to do before you leave for work!
your "girlfriend" needs to wear a bra. I don't care if she never leaves the house. The fact that she bothers me almost everyday of the week for something and is clearly sagging is just kinda... well gross. sorry.
your "girlfriend" needs to wear a bra. I don't care if she never leaves the house. The fact that she bothers me almost everyday of the week for something and is clearly sagging is just kinda... well gross. sorry.
Please don't pee near the entrance to my apartment.
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Remember that tree of yours that half broke off last year and crushed my brand new chain link fence and narrowly missed my pool and new garage - the one you rudely informed me was an "act of God" and you didn't have to do a damn thing about the damages -- the same tree that the city has declared a danger and ordered you to take down. Does that jog any memories?
Just in case you have forgotten I have 50+ photos of this tree on my computer, on my flash drive and emailed to myself from every possible angle including up close pictures of the scars, broken parts and damage.
I am thoroughly enjoying watching it leaning over my house and snapping back and forth in these 45 mph winds we are having today. Off I go to take a few more pictures.
Have a great day.
p.s. Heavens no, I'm not angry about that damage it did last time.