Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
Forum Thread
Dear Neighbor
June 11, 2008 at
11:11 AM
in
Question
Complete this sentence with what you want to say to your neighbor, but won't.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
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Thanks for the laughs. We saw the police at your house that night. We saw one of you go for a ride in a police car. We read the police reports the next day that read "A couple on xyz Drive were fighting over Internet porn."
P.S. - It was good that you guys moved out shortly after that.
You just had to buy the 2 empty lots beside us even though your house is a block away and after 9 years you still haven't done anything with them! It's now been over 5 years since you've mowed them and the weeds are taller than I am! Your deed clearly states the property MUST be mowed at least once a year so get off your *$$ and start mowing!!! Cause I've looked at them long enough!
Can you stop letting your kids play ball in the backyard? We're tired of picking up different types of balls every day.
As if the chainsaw from 9 to noon wasn't bad enough, the branch chipper you are running in front of your house is much worse!
Sincerely,
One pissed off mommy of a newborn that has fought every nap today because of your noise pollution!
I still hope you rot in hell. That is all.
Kiss my ass,
PC
You really really do need to wear a shirt when you mow the lawn!
It's unfortunate that our children's rooms share a wall. It's more unfortunate that you choose to wake your 4 and 5 year old daughters by screaming and threatening to beat them. However, if you continue to wake my 2 year old (and thus my household) at 6:00 am every day in this manner, I will allow my 15 year old to play her "crap music" as you call it from sunup to sundown for the rest of eternity.
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You really really do need to wear a shirt when you mow the lawn!
Stop with the parties and loud music. Also, the next time your crazy-ass brother-in-law comes over with his loud-mouthed wife and they start a dunken fight with you and your FOURTH husband, I will be calling the cops on ALL of you!!!
Dear Neighbor (to the left of me),
I'm sorry the tree removal service guy that I recommended to you last summer dropped a farkin' tree on your house. But he made good on it and rebuilt everything. GET OVER BEING PISSED AT ME!
Dear Neighbor (2 doors down),
Your husband is TOTALLY hot!
Your husband is TOTALLY hot!
it's sad you cant afford to live in the condo anymore.
First you are a white girl living who does not live in the ghetto- please stop talking in Ebonics.
Second- please keep your large friends who look like they would star in Boyz in the Hood from walking freely down the halls touching people's doorknobs- kinda creeps me out, but makes me glad I lock that shit up.
Third- the outside is not a garbage for your kids diaper.
Fourth- Playing Barney loudly on the TV at 9am while getting rammed in your bedroom by previously mentioned gentlemen does not make for good parenting and I am sure your son can hear what is going on- if I can hear it outside walking to my car I am sure he can hear it in the livingroom.
Finally- please just leave the douche bag you fight with in the halls once a week- I am tired of hearing you scream cuss words and him throwing bricks through your window- it's old. You are bringing this place down
Dear Neighbor,
My husband has been dying to ask you- what is your secret? You already have 2 or 3 women living with you, and yet you get all dressed up on the weekend and go pick up more! And you'll be 60 in a few months! Oh, and I don't know if you're aware, but the girls you have living there have gentlemen visit them for 30-45 minutes at a time, a few times a day. But they're very friendly women- always a smile and a "Hi" when I'm checking the mail.
Oh, and thanks for mowing my lawn all summer for so cheap. I really appreciate it.
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stop checking out my ass.
kthxbye.