Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
Forum Thread
Dear Neighbor
June 11, 2008 at
11:11 AM
in
Question
Complete this sentence with what you want to say to your neighbor, but won't.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
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Please get a life. You are too interested in us, and you should be worrying about your own family. You are getting creepy. We know what you've done to try to mess with us. Honestly, it's sad. You've got enough problems of your own. The whole neighborhood can see how pathetic you are. Just give it up and get a life.
I guess I should just name names here. VQ, get a life. Honestly, it's creeping me out.
No, seriously, back to my neighbor, ugh. Just move along, worry about your kids and your spouse, and get a life. You are pathetic.
How about using part of that $10 a week I pay you to mow my front yard and buy some cat food for your cats? I'm doing you a favor paying you to mow my 4' X 30' yard that takes you less than 2 minutes to complete. How about returning the favor and feed your cats. I hate they are begging for food at my house at all hours of the day.
Dear other neighbor,
Please stop parking in the middle of the two parking spots on the street. If you are in the middle, there isn't room for another car to park there. One of these days I might hit the lottery and buy two Mini Coopers and park one in front of and the other behind your car. Besides, you have a driveway with three spaces in it AND a garage in back. Why the hell are you parking there anyway? No one ever visits you.
Did you really need to add that window directly across from my bathroom window???
You don't really need to get your leaf blower out every time a single leaf touches your driveway. Three sessions with the leaf blower in one day is OCD.
Stop staring at my parent's RV in my driveway. Yes, I do know that it's ugly as hell and doesn't "belong" in our neighborhood. But it's only for the weekend.
GET OVER IT!
I am truely impressed with the quality of your giant surround sound system and tv. Your penis must be huge.
Now please turn it down to a level where my walls don't shake.
And it might be more impressive if it wasn't the soundtrack from a video game.
Sincerely,
The Redhead You Have No Chance With
Dear Neighbor Above Me,
I understand everyone needs to procreate...but at farking 6am in the morning, at lease pull your dayum bed from against the wall so that shyte doesn't wake me up. Also why the fark is it that you have 1 child that is skinny as a rail but it sounds like a herd of elephants when you she walks...Why the fark not put your shoes on right before you walk out the door instead of me listening to you clunk around the house like a tap dancing class.
Dear Neighbor below me,
Why the fark must you allow your son to practice his new band instrument on the patio while you are inside with the dayum windows and doors closed? We dont want to hear that. Also quit farking yelling at the kid all the time. I thought the kid was a teenager but he looks like he is no more than 10. Don't project all of your anger on the kid, that shyte harms them as they get older.
Dear Numbnuts that drives around the dayum complex with the freakin radio on full blast. We don't need to hear that shyte at all hours of the day, turn that shyte down before you turn into the complex.
I hate you all and I cant farking wait until I move.
PS to the farking management I farking hate you guys. Why must you make us pay an administrative fee for trash when you know its people living in the other neighborhoods dumping trash....put a dayum gate around the complex a$$wipes.
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I am truely impressed with the quality of your giant surround sound system and tv. Your penis must be huge.
Now please turn it down to a level where my walls don't shake.
And it might be more impressive if it wasn't the soundtrack from a video game.
Sincerely,
The Redhead You Have No Chance With
What game was it? :nerd:
What game was it? :nerd:
We tried knocking on your door several times to tell you to turn your farking surround sound down but it was up so loud you didn't hear either of us knocking the first five times. So on the sixth attempt there may have been some serious pounding I admit. But did you really think it would help your cause any to go the apartment management and complain that we knocked too loud? I'd like to really express my appreciation here because now they know your sound system was up so loud you couldn't even hear someone at the door. Even the rental agent had a good laugh at that.
Turn it down. Now. I'm done trying to knock and tell you nicely. I am now writing down each occurance and will continue to file noise complaints as necessary.
Sincerely,
Not Hard of Hearing
PS- Get a new game already.
I am a dog lover to the core, but I will not hesitate to beat that Spawn of Satan you call "Max" who looks to be the oldest golden retriever I have ever seen in my entire life and I assume will never die b/c it already resides in hell. I will bash his skull in with a shovel if it even so much as glances at my children. Yes, he may listen to you, but your lazy ass loves so much to let him out in the morning to take his daily shit in my front yard and he just loves to race me to my car to get his daily exercise, growling and barking and baring his teeth, trying to chomp his way through my car window. And you come out after I lay on my horn for 30 seconds and wave to me. FARK YOU! Don't think I won't kill that possessed piece of shit. I now carry a stake and holy water in my purse just biding my time for I know that the day of redemption will one day come. I am prepared. You have been warned.
Sincerely yours,
Kara the Vampire Dog Slayer
dear new next door neighbor who spent 15 minutes trying to back into her 1 car garage with her full size yukon... why didn't you fold in the mirrors before you broke one off trying...and i can't wait to see her try to get out
We tried knocking on your door several times to tell you to turn your farking surround sound down but it was up so loud you didn't hear either of us knocking the first five times. So on the sixth attempt there may have been some serious pounding I admit. But did you really think it would help your cause any to go the apartment management and complain that we knocked too loud? I'd like to really express my appreciation here because now they know your sound system was up so loud you couldn't even hear someone at the door. Even the rental agent had a good laugh at that.
Turn it down. Now. I'm done trying to knock and tell you nicely. I am now writing down each occurance and will continue to file noise complaints as necessary.
Sincerely,
Not Hard of Hearing
PS- Get a new game already.
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Please stop letting your obese squat beagle from peeing on the rock in my front yard as you walk by. The rock sits back from the street and other people that stroll along never let their dogs use it. It is not that I care about the rock but it sits 2 feet beyond my invisible fence. I have 2 large German Shepherds that understand how the invisible fence works - run through you get shocked then it goes away. The thought is for your dogs safety not for my lawn. While you are at it, the other neighbors wants to know why you can't pick up after your dog.
Thank you.