Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
Forum Thread
Dear Neighbor
June 11, 2008 at
11:11 AM
in
Question
Complete this sentence with what you want to say to your neighbor, but won't.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
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Don't buy a dog. If you do, your wife won't bend over to pet my dog and show me her rack anymore..
BTW, can you stop peeing on the side of your house! Your bathroom is right inside your door! Don't be such a lazy slob!
I could go on but I'm sure you catch my drift...
Since you let your aggressive dog run loose last night and it tried to terrorize me and my daughter walking home, I will be doing the following from this point on.
Animal control will be called each and every time if I happen to see it outside and I'm inside.
More extreme measures will be taken if we're both outside at the same time and he's running loose.
Let's not let that happen for everyone's sake as you seem like a nice lady otherwise.
Oh, and if we wrote a letter to our only other neighbor it would be:
Dear Neighbor,
We were both so excited to find out the sheriffs department finally got access to your home and released your over the internet bride. Sorry to hear she went back to Russia, but, I am sure she is happy to finally be allowed outdoors.
Yes, this is a true story. We have a lot of freaks around here.
You will be happy to know that I have nominated you for the Guiness book of world records for the most number of cars that can be parked in a driveway. I'm particularly in awe of the way you were able to stack several cars on top of one another, possibly as a tribute to the late Evel Knievel.
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PS - what's that buzzing sound?
I don't give a fark if you don't like my dogs. They were here before you and if you don't like them, you can leave.
Btw, you look like a friggin retard as you fling yourself against the wall, gasping in fear over the big, bad 5 pound puppies.
PS - what's that buzzing sound?
I call BS.
I'm doing some work around the house, please ignore the buzzing sound. It's my ummmmm beltsander. Lotsa sanding to be done around here!
Thanks!
We love to see you with your fawns. But please don't poop all over our lawn, however small your poop may be.
Let's talk about your visitors. If they are too lazy to walk the 50 feet from the driveway to your front door, have them use a cell phone to call you. Using the horn also alerts me to their arrival and makes me realize how classy you are. In addition, if your guests do stay and park in front of my house, please ask them to deposit their litter in your garbage can, not my front lawn. I do not mind going out, picking it up, and re-depositing it in your lawn or open car window (true story), but it would save us both the effort. On a final note, please encourage your 20 year old son and his friends to play basketball with their shirts off more often.
Thanks.
I appreciate all that you do trying to keep kids off drugs.
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