Joined Aug 2006
L8: Grand Teacher
Forum Thread
Dear Neighbor
June 11, 2008 at
11:11 AM
in
Question
Complete this sentence with what you want to say to your neighbor, but won't.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
Here is mine: Dear Neighbor, if we don't answer the phone please don't drive down here to see if we are home. We are, we are just ditching you due to your constant neediness.
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The tree is no longer a problem as of today
That yappy little dog, well, let's just say we took care of the tree legally
You are a jackass. Don't leave me nasty notes when I trim the trees that are hanging over the fence into my yard. Trim your own f*cking shrubbery. I don't give a shit if it was a vine that you have been growing for 30+ years. Not my problem, not my care.
Oh, and your 2 dogs are the dumbest, noisiest, meanest dogs I have ever encountered. I am considering shooting them the next time they come bark at me when I step out on my own front porch to get my mail. F*cking dogs. And I've called the city to let them know that you have a chicken and a rooster in the back yard. Kill those f*ckers already and eat them, or move to the god damn country. Hillbilly bastard.
Move your piece of shit car in to your garage, and while you're at it leave the engine running and close the door. And since it is a public street, don't bother my friends when they come to my house and park in front of your house. Leave them alone.
Thanks, 'preciate.
Dear Neighbor #3:
Die already! Everytime you hack up a lung, I throw up in my mouth a little! And yes I turn the TV up louder so I don't have to listen to it!
Come over some time when you're sober! You seem like a really nice girl and I'd like to talk to you when you aren't drunk.
You keep talking sh*t about my family and you have no idea about us. I will make your life a living hell. Lets see if you ever sell that house of yours. HAHAHA!
since i'm too lazy to walk over there, pick up your damn phone, i see your cars outside...
Those are some wikkid skid marks. You must be very proud.
since i'm too lazy to walk over there, pick up your damn phone, i see your cars outside...
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Your kid has GACS (Greasy Ass Crack Syndrome), more frequent showering is recommended/advisable.
My friend TM1 took this advise and started to make her kids shower once a week instead of every other week.
Can't you please move out and have some cool, laid back 20-something newlywed couple move in. kids are swell, but when you have 5 of them, and your backyard looks like a cliffnotes version of your front yard, both of which suck.....I can't help but feel pain for my property value. Additionally, please speak english as your #1 language in your house. How can i eavesdrop when you are speaking sputnik (to protect true ethnicity)! There's no need to keep up with the jones's, but a little weed and feed never hurt a yard. And your trampoline that takes up 40% of your backyard looks ridiculous. And it's not "caring for your yard" when you move it 5 feet seasonally so a different part of your yard's grass dies out from no sunlight.
Oh...........ps, remember last winter when it snowed like 15 inches and i shoveled my whole side of the driveway INCLUDING the street in front of my mailbox, and you left side snow-filled and then parked your car in front of my mailbox. Consider the note i left you as "lucky", next time I go out and shovel your half of the driveway and pile it all on your car
come over i'm bored.
come over. i"m really bored
dear neighbor #3,
come over. I'm really really bored.
come over i'm bored.
come over. i"m really bored
dear neighbor #3,
come over. I'm really really bored.
Dear neighbor #4,
come over. I'm really really really bored.
PS. bring cheetos!
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The site founded last July is part online therapy, part trashy paperback novel. It singles out neighbors for offenses ranging from shoddy lawn upkeep ("They have garbage all through their yard") to alleged violence ("He has tried to run us down with his push lawnmower").
"It's kind of like watching a train wreck," admits 51-year-old Maegan Polak, of Flossmoor, Illinois. "You know you shouldn't be enjoying it, but you are."
Don't Miss
Yes, it was awful -- now please shut up
I'm sorry for my bad apology...
Users are invited to post advice on dealing with neighbors who fight and yell, who let their animals defecate on other people's property, who neglect their septic tanks -- even those who cook foul-smelling food.
The site shows how neighborhoods are changing, said Polak, a figure skating instructor who visits RottenNeighbor.com occasionally.
"Most people don't go knocking on the doors of future neighborhoods like they used to," she said. "We always knew who was moving in and how many kids they had, all that stuff. People were a little more outgoing. Now they just don't seem to care."
Using Google Maps, the site zooms in on homes of the accused, represented by structures colored red (for the rotten) and green (for the good) that resemble plastic pieces of a Monopoly board game.
Worth a few laughs, but very busy at the moment.